Eskimo Invasion in Midwestern United States

Reports have been trickling in from a certain little bird--ok, it was actually a trio of rather large birds, actually--that Eskimos have been sighted in Wausau and surrounding areas. Since this was, obviously, exciting news for those of us who have never seen a real, live Eskimo, we sent out our scouts with their cameras at the ready.

After several days of slogging through slushy snow, enduring frigid temperatures, and being repeatedly chased out of homes by broom-wielding old ladies, one of our photographers found the genuine article. That's right, ladies and gentlemen! One of our photographers, an incognito agent who sneaks around under the guise of being a home schooling student, was able to find and capture this good-looking young Eskimo on film. Of course, he was rather surprised by the camera's flash, because they don't have such things where he comes from, but he's recovering well from the mild case of fried-eyeball syndrome that resulted from the taking of this photo.



If you see this young man during your next Christmas shopping expedition, please do make sure to say hi and tell him how glad you are that he has come to liven up the social scene here in Wausau.